Expectation is the root of all heartache.
Trying to hold my life together.
So, in an attempt at good karma and good will I decided to make a list of things I am grateful for today:
1) Knitting. I am knitting a hot pink pair of leg warmers. They might be for my 13 year old cousin that goes to an eclectic art school. They might be for me.... not sure yet. I do know that I could rock them.
2) Zumba and Zumba friends. One text was all it took to get some awesome songs,. Light, fluffy pop songs. Sexy, aggressive songs that allowed me to rock the best parts of my body and feel like a glamorous pin-up from the 1940s.
3) This is connected to numer 2: my butt. I've said it before, but I am grateful for my butt. It is beautiful and perfect and makes me look like a fantastic dancer. If my butt was flat I wouldn't look nearly so awesome on the dance floor. My butt also looks great in a pair of work-out capris.
4) My Mt. LeConte shirt. I am wearing it right now and I love it. It reminds me that I can accomplish long-term goals.
5) Crossfit. That class makes me feel like a badass. Also, when (not if) there is a zombie apocalypse the fact that I am learning to pull my body weight up a twenty-foot rope may be a valuable skill. Also, everyone there is so nice and supportive. I love being there.
6) I have some really kind friends. Really, I've felt like my life was falling apart in the past few days. I have been so frustrated and angry. It's a pretty awesome friend that you can call, who comes over without question, and then goes out of their way to comfort you when you bordered on hysterical. Also, I have had friends reach out to me to check on me, who listen, who offer solace and reprieve from some place very sad and dark.
7) Other healthy living blogs. I get a kick out of reading other people's workouts and weight loss victories. I love seeing the pictures from the Las Vegas RnR half and whole marathons this weekend.
8) Hope. I am grateful for hope. My prayer for today has been for God to give me His best. No holding back, let me have the best today. That in this moment, let me taste the best. I'm reminded that what was past was not the best. Not even close. God gently nudges me, comforting me with an idea that there is something happening. I also feel that on some level my prayer was answered today. I had a great afternoon with music and dancing and sprints and burpees and sweat and complete distraction. It was impossible to think about yesterday while doing burpees and 10 Meter Death Sprints.
9) Music in general. When someone is reminded of a trauma, and that is what this is for me, every break-up song was written just for you. Every inflection of Adele's voice is made for you personally. You realize that Joan Jett is a sister of experience. All Pat Benetar lyrics are yours and the Avett Brothers could be your besties.
10) This song in particular. If you like Florence, Adele, Christina Perri, Imogen, and the like then you will love Elizaveta as much as I do. I also find these lyrics to be bitter sweet in a healing kind of way. Please listen.